7.5 KiB
SURAGU’s Marijuana Reviews
Creativity, It’s a known fact that grass increases creativity from eight to eleven times. In fact, everyone finds they’re more creative stoned than straight. Humans have always been very creative at the time to get high. In Spain, stoners were so bored that they found a legal loophole that allowed them to legally consume and sell dispense Cannabis buds. Since I joined one of those clubs, my vision of a fucking plant has changed so damn much. Like everything in contemporany society, you have so much choice it’s depressing. In this post I will review all the strains I have tried.
But I won’t say “this shit dope” because that would be too boring. And I’m also not going to explain how each bud helps you with insomnia, anxiety, depression and ADHD because despite recent research shows it’s not so darn harmful, i’m not an idiot either.
So I’ll review the buds using Pen & Pixel Graphics album covers. I am not rating the weed on how good the album is. Just in how weird the cover is.
I’d like to thank my friend Endemic for the idea of making weed reviews with album covers, for showing me all this awesome music and helping me choose the covers.
Whatever weed you’re smoking. And despite whatever these reviews says about each strain, there’s this quote from Kabuto Makai I the Great that you should never forget:
“Sea Indica o Sativa me da igual que guay está la keli echandose un mai”
Amnesia (grass)
Amnesia Haze is a classic, is a strain that anyone who has been smoking real weed for more than 2 minutes has tried. With more than 20% of THC, the shit will get anyone high. I will give this strain the rating of DJ Screw - The Legend.
DJ Screw in the sky with a skull behind him it’s something I could have never thought of. And going to a cannabis club is also something I would have never thought of. I also find it pretty funny that there’s a car with Screw by its side.
Amnesia (Hash)
Advantages of going to a Cannabis Social Club is that you know that you’re smoking quality grass and quality hash. The hash here is made by the dudes who work at the club, not by a moor sweating in his room. So it has a very high quality.
The thing with hash is that it is hash. Too strong for some. But me? It only leaves me thinking very weird funny things and I’m so relaxed I can’t move. Then I move to some kind of backrooms. In which I find myself listening to whatever Antonio Recio is saying. Great experience. Amnesia Hash deservers nothing less than Lil Keke - The commision
Where do I start? Where are them? First time I thought it I felt like this was a GTA San Andreas mission. Like the dudes are in the Four Dragons Casino. And I like how the dude is peacefully smoking a cigar when he got 2 bodyguards. I don’t know. It is pretty surreal.
Amnesia Hy-Pro
I don’t even know what Hy-Pro means. The friend who sold me this told me that it has a shitton of THC. I believe him. It did indeed had a shit ton of THC. It was a psychedelic experience. So high I didn’t even know my name. I have not felt something similar to that since then. So I can give this thing nothing less than Juvenile - 400 Degrees
I wish I could know where to start with this cover. First we can see that they’re in hell. And there’s this dude burning money. and a gold watch. Dude’s rich and he’s showing off. Then we can see, similary to DJ Screw’s The Legend, a giant face of the same dude in the sky. Presumably Juvenile is the devil. If you look both at the left and right side, you can see, scot-free, hookers. Why are there hookers in hell? I can’t tell. Then you have the Parental Advisory sticker. I couldn’t have known.
Chocolope
Chocolope is a Sativa-Dominant strain. Marijuana journalists says that it has a sweet flavour, tasting simillary to chocolate. In my experience, it just tasted like marijuana smoke. I’ve had better highs in my life. Nevertheless Chocolope is a good strain that gives a good effect. Used it to saw Perturbator live and had a great experience. The Chocolope deserves Three 6 Mafia - The end
I don’t even know how to explain this cover. What are they on? Is that a car? A giant stereo? I genuinely can’t tell. But for some reason they’re into outer space and you can see the earth behind them. The earth is exploding. Maybe it is trying to say that only Three 6 Mafia survived the apocalypse by riding a giant stereo. Riding a giant stereo to outer space is something that could only happen in Memphis, Tennesse.
Unknown Indica Strain
We got a Special Joint for this mysterious strain we can’t remember the name of. We have vague indications that the strain name was “Wedding cake”. Thing is that we thought that C. Indica were for pussies. We were so damn wrong. We were nailed to the couch for at least 15 minutes. To this thing I can only give SSUR - Guerrillas in the midst
Why does the Che Guevara look like a Monkey, why are there hookers if they’re in the guerrilla. What’s up with the explosion, what’s with all the money? I’d frame this cover if I could.
Terps (Hash)
It is impossible for a Allah’s Follower to make bad hash. These “Terps” is dry extraction of hash. I don’t know what “Dry” means. My Marijuana Master doesn’t know what “Dry” is. So I just asume it is just zoomer expression to say that a hash is good. But to answer the question if “Was it good?” The answer is the following picture:
We smoked this hash mixed with Weed Marijuana. When we left the CSC, we were in another dimension. Sadly we had to catch the bus later. We were there and all of us started to feel exagerately dizzy. I don’t rememebr anything that happened in the hour of bus. I just remember that I was listening to some music, I can only rememeber “My mind went blank” my DJ Screw (The Legend). Then they woke me up. First thing I see is a bottle full of vomit.
Santa Sativa
santa: 1. adj sacred; hallowed: holy ground
Santa Sativa is a Sativa Dominant Weed Marijuana strain. Relatively high THC and low CBD. First time we tried this the Terps Incident happened. So the weed must have been good shit. Then we smoked this shit and unbeliable things happened. Everyone I thought to be Cannabic Senseis said this strain was one of the best herbs they have ever consumed. Thus, this strain deserves nothing less than: Snoop Dogg - Da Game Is To Be Sold. Not To Be Told.
This masterpiece of the contemporany art is deleightful for our eyes. We can see the motherfucking d-o double g holding a walking stick made from gold. For undisclosed reasons. He is outside the “Snoop World” (See Montana Management Co.) The thing is that his mansion looks like a fucking castle you’d see in Disney World. Perspective fucks with us so much in this one. As he is behind Snoop World mansion, he’s sitting in the bonnet. Smoking what seems to be a Swisher Sweet and his arm is in another car. There are also three dogs in the pictures with shining diamonds.